I never could have imagined how difficult these past 5 weeks would be without the use of my right leg. I have a new re-affirmed respect for people dealing with permanent disabilities. As a very active person my entire life (the cause of my ankle surgery in the first place) I’ve taken for granted how normally, easy to do tasks can be extremely challenging for others. For instance, getting dressed would seem simple for most, but putting my cast covered leg through a pair of jeans is impossible and climbing my ladder to get to a maxi dress I could hide my shriveling leg in is something I cannot do or reach on my own. Taking a shower is out of the question and instead I sit in bath day after day not ever feeling quite clean. As I see my leg hair growing underneath my cast my calf muscle on the other hand is ever shrinking. Making the bed, doing laundry, putting away dishes all chores I would be happy to do if it meant I could do it on two feet. I feel like a terrible person crying about my circumstances when others may never know how it feels to use a hand, arm, foot or leg again. I am not permanently disabled and am said to be back to 100% in 3 months post surgery but I thank God for providing me with this powerful lesson; a lesson I hope that if you are taught you come out on top and overcome the powerful ever present dark and negative thoughts of self-pity and depression.
So, as I attempt a workout of sorts with bruised knees and a sore left leg from pulling all the weight, I try to see the positives in my situation. No, I cannot get myself out of the house and drive somewhere or take my dogs for a walk, but I will soon enough. I will not forget this feeling of helplessness and promise to help others that may be incapacitated or need a helping hand to do the simplest of tasks.